There are many articles on the internet dealing with what basses to buy. But what about the huge amount of bass guitars on the market that should be avoided at all costs? We have all seen those trashy looking basses. But how do we know for sure that we are buying the right one?
I’m going to cut the fat here. You may not like what you read in this article, but this is all true. Here are my five types:
1.The Bill and Ted:
I don’t know who thought it would be a “
totally freakin awesome idea” to cut off the headstock. OK so cool you can go long periods of time without tuning. Way to go douche bag, you traded the aesthetic value of your instrument for a novelty feature. Why don’t you go buy a
keytar and start a Weird Al cover band.
2. The Spinal Tap Nothing screams that a musician lacks versatility than a bass like this. We understand you are in a metal band, but why don’t you show how metal you are through your music.
A part of being a musician is being able to master different styles of music with ease. Not only does this make you look like a one-sided player, but you would look ridiculous playing that bass with any other type of music. Would you really expect people to take you seriously if you played in a jazz group with this trash? Seriously, unless you are in a hardcore Spinal Tap cover band there is no need to buy this.
If you really want to be metal, pick a bass with a standard body but get it in black. I promise no one will criticize you.
Remember, styles of music are just that: music. Don’t play into the commercial Hot Topic craze.
3. The Josie and the Pussie Cat:I try not to make gender an issue, but could you see Me'Shell NdegeOcello playing one of these? Need I say more?
4. The Ridiculous Signature Model:There aren’t many of these and it is rare to see them. Because most signature basses are high end (around 1,000-8,000) you don’t see many that are that bad. In fact the vast majority are great like the Modulus Flea bass.
However you get stuff like this (I know I might catch some flak for this):
Bootsy is the ONLY person who can pull off a stage show with this thing. The only way anyone should buy this is if they are a collector. With the $2,000 that this bass costs you could buy something way better that suits a bunch of different styles. Unless you are Boosty, bringing this thing on stage will make you look worse just because the reputation of the bass precedes itself.
The bass below is of the Jaco Relic bass and I have already ranted about that in another post that you can
read here.
5. The Bass With Too Many Strings:
Now I know that I am treading on a heated debate right now. But it is true; 7-strings basses are absurd.
Think of it this way:
YOU the BASS PLAYER will have MORE strings than your guitar player.
Sounds ridiculous now that you think about it right? Besides, you will probably have to special order your strings. Worth it? No.
Why do bassists keep buying this shit? Have you ever seen guitar players extremely interested in buying a 7, 8, or 9 string guitar? I know there are exceptions for this but I think I make a solid case.
As far as I can see there are only three legitimate reasons to own a 7-string:
1. Unless you, again, are a collector.
2. Are a serious solo bassist that needs (why, I don’t know) more tones than a guitar can offer.
OR
3. Have ABSOLUTELY mastered the bass and really need that extra string so you can blow Victor Wooten out of the water during a bass-off.
In the end:Don’t go with what looks flashy. There are so many great basses out there. Choose wisely.
The only thing that is going to impress people is your playing. There is no amount of money that can buy you the idea that you are a good player.
All of these basses are easy to avoid, good luck.
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