I’m going to cut the fat here. You may not like what you read in this article, but this is all true. Here are my five types:
1.The Bill and Ted:
I don’t know who thought it would be a “totally freakin awesome idea” to cut off the headstock. OK so cool you can go long periods of time without tuning. Way to go douche bag, you traded the aesthetic value of your instrument for a novelty feature. Why don’t you go buy a keytar and start a Weird Al cover band.
2. The Spinal Tap
Nothing screams that a musician lacks versatility than a bass like this. We understand you are in a metal band, but why don’t you show how metal you are through your music.
A part of being a musician is being able to master different styles of music with ease. Not only does this make you look like a one-sided player, but you would look ridiculous playing that bass with any other type of music. Would you really expect people to take you seriously if you played in a jazz group with this trash? Seriously, unless you are in a hardcore Spinal Tap cover band there is no need to buy this.
If you really want to be metal, pick a bass with a standard body but get it in black. I promise no one will criticize you.
Remember, styles of music are just that: music. Don’t play into the commercial Hot Topic craze.
3. The Josie and the Pussie Cat:
I try not to make gender an issue, but could you see Me'Shell NdegeOcello playing one of these? Need I say more?
4. The Ridiculous Signature Model:
There aren’t many of these and it is rare to see them. Because most signature basses are high end (around 1,000-8,000) you don’t see many that are that bad. In fact the vast majority are great like the Modulus Flea bass.
However you get stuff like this (I know I might catch some flak for this):
Bootsy is the ONLY person who can pull off a stage show with this thing. The only way anyone should buy this is if they are a collector. With the $2,000 that this bass costs you could buy something way better that suits a bunch of different styles. Unless you are Boosty, bringing this thing on stage will make you look worse just because the reputation of the bass precedes itself.
The bass below is of the Jaco Relic bass and I have already ranted about that in another post that you can read here.
5. The Bass With Too Many Strings:
Now I know that I am treading on a heated debate right now. But it is true; 7-strings basses are absurd.
Think of it this way:
YOU the BASS PLAYER will have MORE strings than your guitar player.
Sounds ridiculous now that you think about it right? Besides, you will probably have to special order your strings. Worth it? No.
Why do bassists keep buying this shit? Have you ever seen guitar players extremely interested in buying a 7, 8, or 9 string guitar? I know there are exceptions for this but I think I make a solid case.
As far as I can see there are only three legitimate reasons to own a 7-string:
1. Unless you, again, are a collector.
2. Are a serious solo bassist that needs (why, I don’t know) more tones than a guitar can offer.
OR
3. Have ABSOLUTELY mastered the bass and really need that extra string so you can blow Victor Wooten out of the water during a bass-off.
In the end:
Don’t go with what looks flashy. There are so many great basses out there. Choose wisely.
The only thing that is going to impress people is your playing. There is no amount of money that can buy you the idea that you are a good player.
All of these basses are easy to avoid, good luck.
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9 comments:
I just met Bootsy Collins in his bar/restaurant/museum on St. Patty's day 2009. He is pure class. He had one of those basses in a display and it is breathtaking. No photo does this bass any justice believe me. It is truly a work of art with every detail in perfect quality. No cheap parts here bud. I couldn't believe how reasonable these basses are for what you get. Grab one on his website. Worth every penny.
The "too many strings" and "Bill and Ted" comments really bring your experience and probably your intelligence into question. I'll bypass the Steinberger one- you obviously just aren't aware that the tuning aspect is one small part of the design concept. Extended range basses serve a multitude of purposes including a lot more than really high notes. Fortunately, music and the "role" of the bassist does not have to fit into your idea of what they need to be. We play bass guitar. a member of the guitar family. Owning a bass with one more string than other members of the guitar family is really that ridiculous to you? Anthony Jackson is considered one of if not the best bassist in the world, and considered so by the top musicians (including Wooten). He's also been using six-strings exclusively for over twenty years again. Now, why exactly should we take your advice on the subject over his?
The worst part of it all is that you claim these are all "true." They may be true for you in your very narrow-minded view of the way things "should" be, but they are very far from reality.
Get a sense of humor.
- Bass Guy
Ah, so now you're going to claim that this was meant to be comedy? Nicely played :D Of course there are no jokes nor anything attempting to be on the page, so it's either a terrible attempt at humor or just grossly misinformed. It's better off being deleted either way ;)
I am not ashamed by anything I wrote. And it does say humor in the blog title. Move on if you don't like my writing; there are plenty of other blogs.
-Bass Guy
I like all of your bass guitars this is perfect for my band career.
The funny part is that I actually own that third one (black with metal inlay). It's not a TERRIBLE bass and I played it while in a pop punk band. That whole concept of "you'll look ridiculous play anything else than metal" is ridiculous when you say you want to hear the ability of the player. Are you saying that I can't be a good player because I own this guitar. You're only half right. I'm not great. But damn does the guitar look good! Lol and isn't having fun the most important thing when playing music? P.S. I didn't see anything in the title stating it was a humorous post, but meh. If you take everyone's opinion too seriously then you'll be unhappy! :D
ok i must say i agree with anon here. i own a traben array limited, which you a have a pic of with the large tribal bridge, but its a natural wood finish . i love this bass its the first bass i bought for myself. the bridge on a Traben is for more than just looks. Its bigger size and more contact points with the body give it better tone and longer sustain. and im not trying to be an jerk but just becuase someones taste differs than yours does not mean that their choice is terrible or they are rediculous. simply state you disagree with them no need to be a jerk about it
also the metal guitar you have up is a dimebag razorback. he was an incredible muscian. the man was shot to death on stage is burried in gene simmon's kiss coffin with eddie van halens guitar. no not a sig model or just similar body style but one that eddie owned and gave to dimebag out of respect after dimebag's death. if you dont like it say so but there is no reason to get down on the people who do.
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